


Snow angel

by Zeruby



Category: The Hobbit - All Media Types
Genre: Angst and Feels, Bullying, F/M, Fluff, Fluff and Angst, Heavy Angst, Overprotective Dwarves, References to Depression, Slow Burn, Worried Dwarves
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-06-15
Updated: 2018-07-27
Packaged: 2019-05-20 07:06:14
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Graphic Depictions Of Violence, Major Character Death
Chapters: 3
Words: 4,789
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/14889888
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Zeruby/pseuds/Zeruby
Summary: Life is difficult, full of pain, no matter how you look at it. Bilbo Baggins, Roselya Rootback and the company of Thorin Oakenshield has to learn it again and again - and not the easiest way. While they try to survive with daily basics and reclaim an lost kingdom from a dragon, they have to deal with young woman with depression. And try to keep her alive.





	1. After the fall

**Author's Note:**

> This story will follow an young OC with depression. If you feel that any kind of heavy self harm or such is not your thing, then this is not your story to read.
> 
> Thank you!

Pinja's life had been something similar to Hell ever since she had started high school. Pinja was bullied over everything possible the others could think of. Her oraingeish hair color was ugly and she was often compared to a carrot, she had pimple on her cheek once, she was using glasses and ugly ones too, her name was weird and ugly and not normal, and she _was just being herself_. But the worst thing was when the young girl had a crush over this one boy. And she was stupid enough to tell it to him via small piece of paper. Pinja didn't put her name on it, but somehow the guys still found out. And the bullying got even worst.

After everything what Pinja had been through, she got depressed. She didn't trust _anyone_. She hardly had any friends and those who had gotten close enough to her to be called her friend, didn't know half of her yet most of them knew what she was going through and why. 

Pinja hardly kept any contact to her parents, and since she was the only child she didn't need to keep contact to her siblings. She hardly ever contacted to her auntie's nor her uncle's, but what little contact she made were mostly for her father's two sisters.

Her life continued the same for a few years, until one evening under the stars of winter sky she made an decision. She was standing over an railing of river that hadn't frozen. The current was too strong that water would freeze. And the current was too strong that she would stay on the surface of the water, let alone to swim in the water. So, with one last sigh and making sure she truly was alone, she jumped.

* * *

 

Bilbo Baggins was like any other hobbit, proper and living as normal life as any hobbit should be. Nothing unusual never happened in his life. Until that one early spring afternoon. Bilbo had had his tea and two pieces of apple pie, like any other afternoon in his life. Then he had decided to go out and take a walk instead of settling in front of a warm fireplace and reading a good book.

The weather outside was getting warmer, the snow had melted into a slush, which caused Bilbo to sigh deeply. Well, at least he could dry his feet and brush his feethair, and then drink some warm tee while he'd sit in front of the fireplace. Like he should be doing now. But something crawled in his heart, in his soul, telling him that he should go on and have the walk. And the more he walked, the more his insides were screaming him to walk and find something. It was that bad, weird, something like a sixth sense, that tells when something is wrong.

And Bilbo did listen to it. He walked near the market place, which was empty now expect the few hobbits that were having a chit chat. Bilbo's feet took him near the little river next the marketplace. He gazed the river and the nature around it, clasping his hands behind his back. Bilbo felt uneasy, as if something was about to happen. But he didn't know what it could be or what the bad feeling in his soul meant.

Not until he heard a scream.

One of the ladies had screamed and was now pointing towards the riverside. Bilbo's eyes turned where the lady, Amaryllis Burrows, was pointing. And then, everything seemed stop. There, half on the land and half in the water, was a person, laying still. Bilbo's heart jumped to his throat and then it fell to his feet. The person's shape gave out that it was a lady, but Bilbo couldn't tell who she exactly was.

Like a bolt, he rushed towards her, while few other hobbits were rushing towards her too. Bilbo was the first to reach her, dropping on his knees and touching carefully the young girls shoulder. She didn't react, so Bilbo turned her on her back, pressing his head on her chest.

"Well? Is she alive?!" Hadle Took, a distant kin to Bilbo, bemoaned. Bilbo lifts his head and turned to a little audience that had suddenly arrived around the young girl and nodded.

"Yes, but hardly. Someone, get doctor Northgold here! NOW if you'd please!" Bilbo shouted. A young lad turned and dashed away as fast as he could, towards the land where doctor Nortgold lived. Bilbo turned towards the girl, noting how Roselya Rootback was on her knees on other side of this unknown lady, keeping her cheek on her face.

"Aye, she's breathing, but... we  _have to_ get her to the doctor Nortgold's house as soon as possible. It's possible that she's been drifting in the water for a long time and gotten water in her lungs" she says, deep frown on her face. Then she lifts her eyes to Bilbo, who turns serious under those eyes. Roselya and Bilbo had met before, talked before and could consider each other as a friend. If Roselya had not been so young, maybe they would have been a good match.

"Yeah.... We have to help her" Bilbo answers. Those two, with nine other hobbits, kept this unknown girl alive, in state where she could barely keep on until the doctor came. And when he came, Bilbo and Roselya with doctor and three other hobbit carried the girl in nearest hobbit hole where doctor Northgold could take a look at her. Whilst the other hobbits left, Bilbo and Roselya stayed, helping doctor Northgold however they could. Old lady Bellar started to prepare a dinner as soon as they stepped in, saying that they could use any room to heal this young lady and that they'd surely be hungry after all the fuss.

Hour later the unknown girl's condition was in state where she was in no danger anymore. Doctor Northgold stayed over a dinner, then he left back to his house, telling to the three hobbits that they should get him if her condition should get any worse. Bilbo and Roselya decided to keep company to old lady Bellar, and for her sake and the young, unknown girls sake too. And so the three of them enjoyed their evening chit chatting this and that, checking the girls condition every once and while.

And when the night fell, they decided to take sifts of watching over this girl. And old lady Bellar had an idea of how they could make time go faster on their watch. She started by taking the first watch and she started to knit a scarf, that Bilbo would continue and then Roselya and so on. And by morning it would be ready, and when this young girl would wake up, they'd give it to her. Bilbo and Roselya thought this to a rather sweet idea and so they were in, even thought Bilbo wasn't that good with knitting.

In early morning, when Bilbo took a watch after Roselya - after insisting that he'd take the watch over old lady Bellar - the girl woke up. She took a deep breath, her eyes shot open and she seemed more than frightened. Bilbo threw the almost finished scarf on the ground and hurried over to the girl, hushing her and petting her hair and cheek.

"Shh, you're alright, it's alright" Bilbo kept on saying. The girl looked at him like her life depended on his existence.

"Help me" she sobbed, tears falling from her eyes.


	2. Friendship to Last

"Please, help me" was all Bilbo could hear. He sat on a armchair, cup of chamomile tea on his hands he barely had drank. He stared into the fire, seeing those lightly green eyes staring back at him. Help her, she had pleaded. Help.

Bilbo closed his eyes and took a deep breath. He did not know what this young, orangeish haired girl was going trough. He could not know if he could actually help her. Bilbo didn't even know who she was, for Yavanna's sake! 

"She is resting" Roselya's soft voice carries over the next armchair. Bilbo turns to her and nods. Roselya sits down on armchair next to Bilbo and sighs, moving her light brown, almost blond hair behind her ear. She leans to back rest and brings her knees up to chest, staring silently into the fire.

"She begged me help her, you know..." Bilbo murmurs softly, taking a sip of his tea. Roselya hums and then she frowns.

"I wonder if she was attacked by orcs and is frightened because of it" Roselya says, turning her dark brown eyes to him. Bilbo sighs, but says nothing. The orcs had been causing havoc here and there, even close the borders of Shire. It could be possible that the woman came from Bree and from whatever reason there might be, she was attacked by orcs and ended up in the river.

"Yes, it's possible. She might be from Bree, even that her cloth..." Bilbo starts, but is cut off by the old lady Bellar.

"I'm sorry to interrupt, but Pinja, the girl you found from the river, is not from from Bree, and was not attacked by orcs. She took her own life by jumping to an ice cold river in lands far away from here and the will of Valar's brought her here" she says. Roselya's and Bilbo's mouths opens as wide as they could from the shock and Bilbo even drops his tea cup.

"She... took her own life? How horrible..." Roselya whispers, slamming her hand over her mouth. Old lady Bellar nods rather sadly and then she turns to leave the room. Bilbo turns to pick the cup from the floor, sighing when sees to tea all over the floor in front of him. He checks the cup over before taking it to the kitchen and returning back to parlour with few rags. He kneels down and starts to rub the tea from the floor, his mind blank and empty.

That sweet looking lass had taken her own life, for what ever reason she had. And she didn't live anywhere in Arda - which could actually explain her rather odd clothing. And something had brought her here, be it a will of Valar's like old lady Bellar had pronounced it or simply some explainable and dangerous magic.

"What could have driven her to take her own life" Roselya says aloud, not really asking it from Bilbo. But still, he stops and turns to his friend. Roselya looked sad and thoughtful. There when usually other hobbits would stay away from other people's lives and troubles, she seemed to care, trying to help in however she could. She was a good hearted lass, many knew it. And Bilbo knew it, and he appreciate it.

"Something in her life must have happened, something bad enough to drive her in state like that. I hope she'll manage to get her life back to normal so she doesn't have to think of hurting herself" Bilbo answers anyway whilst he returns to clean the floor. Roselya's eyes turn to Bilbo. She silently gazes at him, both of them falling silence as they are lost in the labyrinth of their own minds. When Bilbo has gotten floor clean again, he takes the rugs to the laundry box. When he return's back to parlour, Roselya's eyes turn to him. There is that certain gleam in her eyes when she has set her mind in something. Bilbo sighs, sitting on the armchair.

"Alright, Rose, What it is?" he asks, defeated and not even trying to fight for whatever his friend had decided.

"Well, I thought that Pinja doesn't have a home, if she really comes from a distant land. She doesn't have any friends nor family here. We could give her a place to stay, be her friends, get to know her.... you know... that she won't try to take her life again" Roselya says. A little smile grows on Bilbo's face and he turns to look at Roselya.

"That is a great idea, my dear" old lady Bellar says from the door. "Pinja is taking a bath now, and the food is almost ready. We can discus this while we are eating" she adds, and both Bilbo and Roselya are smiling.

"An excellent idea, lady Bellar and Rose!" Bilbo exclaims. The mood had gotten a bit better, but the three hobbit had to work with it to get the young woman smiling and feeling better after everything she had been through.

 

* * *

 

"Are you feeling alright, my dear?" old lady Bellar inquire's from Pinja, when she sits down over the table. Bilbo and Roselya are sitting around the table too and are smiling to Pinja.

"Ye-yes, I'm alright" she says. Old lady Bellar squints her eyes to the girl. "Well, as fine as I can be" Pinja adds, lowering her head. While she was more than grateful for these hobbits for founding her, taking care of her and letting her stay and rest in their home, even giving her warm clothes and food, she still felt bad to cause them problems. They would be enjoying their normal day routines, not minding about an lost woman who tried to take her life, if they wouldn't have found her nor payed any mind to her when she was found.

"I'm sorry to cause you so much problem" Pinja silently says, looking down at her plate. Old lady Bellar's hearty laugh causes her head to snap up and her heart sink down to her stomach.

"Don't you worry about it, child. Now, eat up, all of you!" she says with one last laugh. With a small smile and a small 'thank you', Pinja starts to eat. Bilbo, Roselya and old lady Bellar keep up most of the talk, not asking any unproper question from Pinja. Ever so slightly she starts to relax, but does not take part in the small talk, rather just enjoys to listen while the others do the talking. And Pinja enjoyed the food. Never had she had food like this! Even Gordon Ramsay wouldn't stand a chance over food like this. After the dinner was over, Roselya and old lady Bellar started to clean the table. Bilbo and Pinja stayed seated, since old lady Bellar just waved her hand and said that the two of them would get things done by themselves. The silence between Bilbo and Pinja was heavy, but not an awkward one. Yet.

"So, Pinja, we were wondering that since you do not have any place to stay, we would like to give you a roof over you head and help you to get started your new life in here" Bilbo says, while he lit his pipe. Pinja's brows shot nearly to her hair line and her surprise shined on her face. These three had been already kind enough to her, so she hadn't expected them to show anymore kindness to her. Yet here she was, proven to be wrong.

"Um... Yeah... That... That would be too kind of you since you have done already so much for me... Thank you" she says, blushing and looking down. Bilbo huffs and shakes his head. He could tell that she was shy and awkward talking with others, well.. at leas with strangers. Who knows if she would be more relaxed and talk them more after she would trust them and conciser them as her friends.

"Ah, nonsense! We'd more than happy to help you out!" Bilbo says with a big smile. Pinja gives him a little smile and nods, thanking him again. Old lady Bellar enters to the dining room, Roselya following closely behind her.

"Bilbo is right, Pinja. We'd be more than happy to help you out" Roselya says, with a big smile on her face. Pinja turns to her, admiring that beautiful smile on Roselya's face, and then turning to old lady Bellar, when she stops next to the woman, collecting the last dishes from the table.

"That's right, dear. We wouldn't turn our back to you now. Say, would you like to stay here with me?" she says. Pinja opens her mouth, but couldn't pronounce any words. She was too surprised. Surely they were just kidding! When she would least expect it, they would surely throw her out and laugh at her!

"But... I don't have any money to pay a rent..." she says in small voice, looking down at her hands. She felt horrible, anxious. These people were kind to her, but the truth was that didn't have any money - not at leas money that would hold any value in this strange world. Someone sighs and Pinja lifts her head. Roselya looks at her rather sadly, with small smile on her lips, Bilbo stared the table and puffs his pipe, while old lady Bellar sets the dishes down and sets her hand down on Pinja's shoulder. She jumps a little to the unexpected touch, but doesn't dare to ask her to remove her hand.

"I am not expecting any money, silly girl. All I ask for is that you help me with housekeeping and keep company to this old lady. Will this do, hmm?" she says. Tears started to form in Pinja's eyes as she nodded.

"Yeah... That sounds good..." she says. In strange land full of strange people and danger, Pinja had received three friends and some kind of light in her life - her days weren't as dark as it had been.


	3. Shy heart

Starting from the bottom wasn't easy for Pinja, and she never suspected that it would be. After she had tried to take her own life, she tried to survive from the shock that she hadn't died even when she thought that she had. And for the fact that she had traveled over starts and universe to get here. Why? How? Pinja had no answer for these question's and there was no person in all Shire who she could ask these. Bilbo had mentioned the elves, but to meet them, she'd have to walk weeks and weeks before she could get there. And outside the boarders of Shire were danger's Pinja had no idea. Orc's, which she had already heard of, goblin's, troll's, dangerous men (from all races) and what not. Then Pinja had ventured herself to ask, whatever Bilbo could go with her to the nearest elven city. The look on his face told her everything: He thought Pinja as a crazy person, going out there to face the danger just so she could get answers to her question's. After this Pinja had taken a little distance to hobbit.

She didn't mention a word about wanting to leave to any elven city to Roselya, or Rose for a short, or old lady Bellar. She feared their reaction. Bilbo's had been bad enough, she didn't want to hear what the two other would say.

And Pinja didn't want to cut the starting friendship with old lady Bellar. She was kind to her, but also understanding of her situation. When Pinja had first met her, she had felt it to be better to explain her situation to this elder woman truthfully and like it was, not trying to cover things up. Old lady Bellar didn't question things, she could see that this girl was hurting and had seen and felt something traumatic enough to drive her in state like this, to take her own life because of it.

And she thought that whatever this girl had told the truth would remain to be seen. Surely she believed that Pinja had taken her own life by jumping to a river, it would be easy to drown oneself if they truly wished it, but that she came from another world? While it was true that her clothes were strange and Pinja's accent was a little different, it was hard to believe that she would hail from another world.

Whatever the reason was why Yavanna had brought her among the hobbits, only time would show. Hopefully. The only thing old lady Bellar could do was offer her a home, warmth, dry clothes and food. And this was more than the young girl could ever ask for. 

Pinja's first few days went on by resting and helping old lady Bellar, or granny as she kindly told Pinja to call her. Doctor Northgold visited them few times, checking how the girl was doing. According to him Pinja was lucky to be alive, not that Pinja could agree with him. And of course she did not tell him the reason what she had done and why. Pinja did not trust this man, even thought he was checking her health and had been one of those who had saved her. And Pinja was grateful for him for what he had done, but she didn't want to bother him any more. And it was not his business. 

And then there was the questions of who she was, where she was from. According of granny Bellar, Pinja could not reveal the truth for the rest of the hobbits. It seemed to Pinja to be bad enough that she told to her three "friends" about her origins. Maybe she should have just been quiet and come up with some kind of lie. But then again, lies always find their way to a daylight and she might be in even more in trouble than now.

So, Pinja was told to be a only child from a family of farmers, who had been slaughtered by orcs and how Pinja was the only one who got away. And by events that happened after that, she had thrown herself into a river and she had drifted to all the way to Shire. The hobbits bought the story, and many believed that this was Yavanna's wish to give another chance to the girl, even Pinja's three friends believed that she had been given another chance. But Pinja herself believed that she had been cursed, however it could be possible.

The day, in early spring, 25th of May, Pinja Regnell, was saved from death's claws and was given another chance. And it was up to her, how she'd use that second change. With help of her new friends, and the new adventures that waited her.

 

* * *

 

Two weeks after Pinja had been found, she started to be in state where she was helping granny Bellar with household from morning to evening. Bilbo and Rose came to visit them every now and then, playing, talking, eating and chilling together. The spring outside of the hobbit house started to bloom, starting a new life in both granny Bellar and Pinja. And for the first time, Pinja went alone to the market place. She assured to granny Bellar that she could do it, her ego being what it was, but in truth she was horrified.

She was supposed to go alone in area filled with strange people she did not know. Of course there would be old faces she knew, names she had heard and hobbit's who knew her. But still, she panicked a little. _A lot_. She knew that none of them wouldn't hurt her, it was more the multitude and the fact that she may have to talk to stranger what made her panic. Small talk and meeting new people were not her thing.

She gripped the basket a little tighter as she spotted the stalls and the hobbits walking and chatting around the market. She kept on walking even thought all the worry seemed to grow in her chest and she felt like she couldn't breath. She just needed to buy meet, herbs and blueberry jam and then return back to granny's house. Easy beasy. 

"Hello, Pinja!" an familiar voice called from behind Pinja and she yelped, turning towards the voice. Bilbo stood behind her, his brows and hands up. "Sorry, lass, didn't mean to scare you" he added, looking a little apologetic. Pinja sighed and then smiled a little to Bilbo. It was a wonder that he was still talking to her, after what Pinja had asked for him.

"It's OK, Bilbo. I just... didn't hear you approaching" she answered, looking down at their feet. If the hobbit felt comfortable to talk to her, even after she asked him to leave his home and go out to face the danger, Pinja thought that it was better not bring it up and rub it on his face. She still considered him as a good buddy of hers.

"Ah, yes. We hobbit's are light from our feet, and people don't easily hear us nearing them" Bilbo told her, with a little playful smile on his lips. He clasped his hand behind his back and seemed to smile even more, when Pinja's eyes filled with curiosity rose from the ground to meet his.

"Oh..." was all she could say. Bilbo nodded and then turned to look over the market. Hobbit's were bustling around, merry talking carrying over to the two. The snow had finally melted and everything was turning green, remarkably fast if someone asked from Pinja. A miracle of Yavanna's, as granny had told her. The spring and soon arriving summer were lifting spirits after a long, cold and dark winter. Spring was a new start to a hobbit's year, and new possibility to start to a new life, Bilbo mused to himself.

"So, I assume you are going to the market?" Bilbo asked. Pinja gave him a small nod of her head and a little smile. "Then I hope you don't mind if I accompany you" If possible, her smile grew just a little wider and she seemed relieved for whatever reason, Bilbo did not know.

"S-sure" she said and then the two of them started to walk towards the market. Silence fell upon them. Pinja felt a little awkward, she was first time alone with Bilbo after they had discussed about going to the nearest elven city and now she wasn't sure what they could talk about. Not that she'd have any idea of how to start small talk with him. Starting small talk in general was difficult for her. Bilbo glanced at her, seeing her uneasiness.

"This is your first time alone outside of old lady Bellar's home, yes?" he asked a little carefully. Pinja turned to him and nodded. Bilbo offered her a little, understanding smile.

"It's alright, Pinja. You'll get use to the life in here soon enough" he assured and now it was Pinja's turn to give him a little smile. "The hobbits are pretty easy going, maybe a little distant and careful with strangers at first, but they'll warm up to you soon enough. I'm sure of it" Pinja shake's her head. It was mutual then, the unsure feeling if you could trust the other person between her and these hobits. But deep, very deep inside of her, she wished that she and these hobbit's could warm up to each other's.

"I sure do hope so" she murmured. They stepped in market place, few of the hobbits glancing at the two of them, giving a little nod and smile to them. Both of them nodded back, but Bilbo was far more polite, even saying hello to few hobbit. Pinja felt her panic raising again. Bilbo noted how the girl next to him was even more silence, hiding even more in here walls.

"It's alright, Pinja. Relax. Take a deep breath" he put his hand over her arm and whispers. Pinja throws a quick glance over him and takes a shaky breath. Bilbo smiles and squeeze's her hand before letting go.

"So, what are we getting today?" he asks. It takes Pinja for a while to regroup her thought before she turns to Bilbo.

"U-u-umm... Meat a-a-and... then there was... um... jam... blue-blueberry jam... and... few different herbs" Pinja's shaky voice says. Bilbo's heart clenches in his chest and he squints his eyes shut for few second. _What had this girl gone through in her life to be so scared of meeting new people?_

"Alright. How about this, we'll buy everything we need to and I'll come over to a dinner with you and lady Bellar, and I'll make some delicious dessert for us?" Bilbo proposes. Pinja takes, again, a shaky breath and nods.

"I-I think t-that should be alright w-with granny" she answers. Her eyes were still big and panicked, but she seemed a tiny, little pit more relaxed. Bilbo smiled, with that big toothy smile of his, and nodded. For once, he was ready to do anything for someone to just make them smile. This girl was worth it, he knew, and Bilbo wasn't ready to give up just yet. 


End file.
